About being employed/ unemployed

My last best stint as a professional was working with Praxis Business School for a little over than 5 years. It was one of my best working experiences after The Telegraph,where I worked as a Senior Sub-Editor for about 7 years. Praxis has been one of the most emphathic organizations AI have worked with. It helped me grow, and become more confident about myself. Praxis gave the space to enhance my communication skills, interacting with students and befriending them. It gace me the space to thrive amidst the green environment and take ownership of the work I do. Moreover, Praxis empowered me. 

After leaving Praxis in July 2024, I found it difficult to find a job. I got employeed again in an organization in September 2024. I was referred the job by a collegue from the Telegraph days. Referrals work. But due to unavoidable circumstances I left the job in the first week of January 2025. 

A very short stint, this organization had become very taxing for me. I was unable to cope up with the work stress and found no space to grow. Since then I had been jobless, leaving me in the darkest of hours, with financial crisis, depression taking a toll on my mental and physical health, frustration and acute stress. I was gradually losing my confidence, with barely any interview calls in 3 months. Trust me, I was called for only 4 interviews in the last 3 months. I barely moved out of home, barely met friends, barely spoke to anyone on the phone or home. Some suggested remote jobs or freelancing, but nothing worked. For freelancing I was being offered 20 paisa or 30 paisa per word, which left me demotivated. 

I applied regularly on LinkedIn but no calls came. One company gave me a date to join and on that day when I messaged the HR as I was on the way to their office, she told me not to come over and join only after they send the offer letter. That hope was gone too, and later when I followed up with them, they told me that the job was on hold. 

Last to last week, a person called me from an ad agency in Kolkata and mentioned that someone from my Telegraph days had referred me to them. An interview followed and I have joined the ad agency from this Monday. Referrals work. A well crafted CV works which showcases your work experience and job role. 

Needless to say, the last 3 months were dreadful but I am thankful to God and good people around me for helping me out in my darkest hours. 

THE POISON OF YOUR LOVE

 https://micheleelys.com/2018/07/09/the-poison-of-your-love-by-upalparna/

∫ rise out of the poison of your love

The venom I drink to my glory

Taking a sip from the glass of blood you offer me

Your love consuming me with poisonous Intoxication 

Putting me in a state of trance

Binding me in love-lost transition

The semi-conscious and complete unconscious

Rising out of my consciousness

I rise out of the poison to entwine me with…

My soul moves out of my physical presence – 

fading out into ξternity 

I am at peace now ~ 

with the rain falling upon my barren face

Arousing me with your deep embedded kiss hugging my scarred 

and burnt soul

I rise out of the poison of your love!

I Twist and Turn inside and out, I run and hide and play and fall.. Life is the way it is. I am the way I am. Take me or leave me. Writer, communicator, traveler, gypsy, listener, dreamer, photographer, and motivator. There’s more to me. I come from a very simple middle-class background, born and raised in Kolkata, West Bengal, India. I am hopeful my country and my city will grow out of the shadows that act as a hindrance to its development. 

To know more about me, visit me: Email , Blogspot, LinkedIn  ©All copyrights Reserved by Upalparna

Ami Nosto Nari

                                                                     

                                                                    আমি নষ্ট নারী!

ছেলেবেলায় এক চেনা মুখ, খেলার ছলে হাত দিলো আমার দেহে –

পুতুল এর মতো বসে রইলাম, সে আবার হাত দিলো, বার বার!

সে বললো, এটা একটা লুকোছুরি খেলা – কাউকে বলতে নেই !

আমি খেলা ভেবে ভুলে গেলাম, বড় হলাম,

জমতে থাকলো, বাড়তে থাকলো, হাজার হাজার না দেখা ক্ষত র দাগ!

কখন যে নষ্ট নারীর তকমা লেগে গেলো আমার উপর, বুজতেও পারলাম না!

আমি নষ্ট নারী!

আরো অনেক হাত, খেলার ছলে ছুঁলো আমাকে,

খেলার ছলে পরিণত হলাম নারী রূপে, রয়ে গেলো নষ্ট নারীর তকমা আমার উপর!

আমি নষ্ট নারী, বিদ্রোহিনী হলাম,

রুখে দাঁড়ালাম সমাজের হিংশ্র মুখোশ পড়া মানুষ দের বিরুদ্ধে!

প্রতিবাদী হলাম, হলাম আরো নষ্ট আমি!

আমার দেহ তাও পবিত্র আমার কাছে,

আমার আত্মা, রক্তের দাগে ঢাকা, তবুও সম্পূর্ণ!

প্রতিবাদ করলে সমাজ ধিক্কার দেবে, নারী হয়ে রুখে দাঁড়ালে, অপমানিত হতে হবে!

অনেকে বললো, মেয়েদের লজ্জা পেতে হয়! সহ্য করতে হয়, নম্র হতে হয়!

মাথা নত করলাম না আমি! এখন আর শিশু নই, পরিণত নারী ,

খেলার পুতুল নই, আমি নষ্ট নারী!

তাদের কাছে নষ্ট হয়েই থাকি!

ভয় পাই না মুখোশ খুলে দিতে সেই সব মানুষ দের ,

যারা খেলার ছলে নারী কে ভাঙ্গার খেলা খেলে!

আমি নষ্ট নারী! ভাঙ্গি না, ভয় পাই না সত্যি কথা বলতে,

মাথা উঁচু করে বাঁচি, লড়াই রোজ করি – প্রতিবাদের ভাষা স্পষ্ট প্রকাশ করি! আমি অহংকারী!

না হয় হলাম ততাকথিত সভ্য সমাজে আমি নষ্ট নারী!

 

Take me or leave me. Writer, communicator, traveler, gypsy, listener, dreamer, photographer, and motivator. There’s more to me; I run and hide and play and fall, Twist and Turn inside and out. Life is the way it is. I am the way I am. Born in a simple middle-class background,  raised in Kolkata, West Bengal, India. I am hopeful my country and my city will grow out of the shadows, a hindrance in its development. 

To know more about me, visit me: Email , Blogspot, LinkedIn  ©All copyrights Reserved by Upalparna Dey

The Scorned Woman

 https://micheleelys.com/2019/01/28/the-scorned-woman/

THE SCORNED WOMAN

In my childhood, a familiar face, touched my body –

I sat there like a doll, he touched me again and again!

He told me that this was a secret game – not to be told to anyone!

With time, the game lay deep within a box in my mind, with dust piling upon it.

I grew up as a woman, the games no longer a child’s play.

With thousands of unseen scars and stains!

When the name of a damned woman was embedded upon my body and mind, I could not even understand what it all could mean!

I was stained as a scorned woman!

Many more hands, touched me, time and again,

The games turned out to be venom for me!

The marks of a shamed woman was bestowed upon me with sarcasm,

Making me bolder and rebellious,

Standing up against the gentle masks behind the actual facades!

I became fearless, finally rising against my own ashes!

My body is holy to me. My soul, covered with blood, yet complete and serene!

I was told by many – if I protest, the society will rebuke me!

Women who stand up for their rights are humiliated!

Many said, girls should be shy! Should be tolerant, be humble!

I did not bow down! Now, not a child anymore who did not understand the imprisonment, I broke free from the cage that chained me,

I told myself, do not be afraid to strip the masks of those people, who play games with a woman!

I did not care about the scorn, I told myself not to break down, not to crumble time and again – not to be afraid of speaking the truth,

I walk with a spine even today, and fight every moment – express my protest loud and clear!

I am proud of who I am! I am not ashamed of my story.

I am not a scorned woman in the so-called civilized society!

SOUL DIARIES

 https://books.google.co.in/books?id=7tIcEAAAQBAJ&pg=PR6&lpg=PR6&dq=upalparna+dey&source=bl&ots=Nwe1nVXvqG&sig=ACfU3U3p3aR0PGwWYWp0PLSdQgpwr2rJ3A&hl=en&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjv4o_fi5j4AhWtTWwGHYyGA9s4HhDoAXoECAwQAw#v=onepage&q=upalparna%20dey&f=false

Forever as we know it

 https://books.google.co.in/books?id=emleEAAAQBAJ&pg=PA61&lpg=PA61&dq=upalparna+dey&source=bl&ots=U7NUR-0unl&sig=ACfU3U3Ki8_2sT6xHODGeyy2Wxrnqz0bHg&hl=en&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjv4o_fi5j4AhWtTWwGHYyGA9s4HhDoAXoECAIQAw#v=onepage&q=upalparna%20dey&f=false

Inclusion of women victims of domestic sexual abuse in the #MeToo campaign

 

India has been talking more about inclusive movements over the last decade or so. Inclusive workplaces, inclusive education, inclusive social, cultural, and economic platforms. In actuality and reality, how much inclusion are we really practicing? The acceptance is yet to reach the real meaning and value of accepting and embracing.

While inclusion is being encouraged in different sectors, of late, to a certain extent in our country,  are we thinking of including women who are victims of domestic sexual violence in the latest uproar on the #MeToo campaign?

One of my ex-colleague from a leading publication house shared that women who face domestic sexual abuse should have a #WeToo campaign. While women from various parts of the country are bursting out, exposing abusers, and voicing out their experiences of sexual harassment at the workplace - why not a petition, a campaign for women who face the same at home? They deserve to be included and heard too on similar grounds.

Over the last couple of weeks after the #MeToo campaign broke out like fire, women from various parts of India, whom I am connected to through various mediums, have asked me several questions about the abuse they have faced inside the closed doors of their home over times.

Seeking some answer, some hope, which till today I have not been able to give, apart from an ear to listen out to them.

“What about us?” “Why can we not have a common platform to voice our experiences against the sexual abuse we face at home and seek justice?” “Is it just because we are legally married?” “Is it just because we are financially unstable?” and more questions of the like. I am sorry! I did not have an answer that could give them some ray of hope in these trying times. 

While victims of sexual harassment at the workplace have risen, more than ever, shouting out loud, protesting against the abuse they face and are fighting for justice through #MeToo, the inclusion of women who face domestic sexual abuse in the campaign is still a debatable issue. Ironically, India is one of the 36 countries where marital rape looms large.

The #MeToo campaign, amidst multiple controversies, is just the start of a war. Or, I would rather say, just the tip of the iceberg.

We claim to belong to the modernized century of equal rights and freedom. However, in a country where poverty looms large, women, from cross-sections of the society seldom have access to employment opportunities, education, or their rights due to various factors. Women have been sexually tortured, abused or raped, for years, in their homes for decades.

Not going into the exact statistics, I would just like to mention that only a minority of married women who are victims of sexual violence report their abuse. Women face domestic abuse in rural areas, towns, cities, and metropolitans. Over the years, it has crossed all social classes, racial lines, and age groups. Never to stop – nowhere?

Being a woman, I voice my views on female abuse through various platforms. However, till date, I have rarely been able to do much for those who suffer from the sexual abuse they face at home. Married women experience physical, sexual, or emotional violence by their spouses time and again.

Why married woman cannot / do not leave her abuser who is her husband? The stigma and taboo are way bigger than we can often imagine. The financial dependency, the children, and the social stigma - just to name a few - are overwhelming, mostly.

Women who are sexually abused at home have the tendency to remain quiet, agonized and emotionally disturbed for years. She remains tormented and the fear of being ostracised is too much to handle in situations where she is either uneducated or financially unstable.

She often keeps quiet because she feels that men outside the house are worse or the same. She fears being forced into prostitution if she protests and decides to suffer in silence till her last breath. The psychological setbacks and trauma affects her productivity in all forms of life for years.

For women who decide to break the silence and seek justice, the law systems have multiple loopholes. She indeed has a large price to pay for the freedom she wants from the abusive marriage. The financial expenses are most difficult for the woman to handle. The wait is too long mostly again. The trials are too many to face.

I stand up for those women who should be given the opportunity to unite under one roof, that of the #MeToo campaign, and be included in their fight against sexual harassment in their personal and professional life.

 I raise this inclusive campaign #WeToo where women from all sections of the society who are victims of domestic sexual abuse, should actively participate, encourage others with mutual understanding and stand up claiming for justice.