Comfort Zones Decoded

What are comfort zones? What makes or breaks them? What defines them? What are their parameters or boundaries?

The existence of comfort zones is the most wanted thing in life. A make belief shield that is imbibed in us since childhood, a comfort zone is created to make us believe that everything in life is comfortable. Stopping us to learn and be prepared for the unknown challenges we face through the entire journey of life.

The entire journey, however, is to decode the myth of the comfort zone. which is nothing but a notion that makes us wary of facing fears in life.

When it comes to humans, comfort zones take a different turn as it is associated to all good and comfortable things in life. While we wish a good life for ourselves and everyone else, such is not the case always. To learn to accept what exists in our current situation, to practice overcoming fears and disappointments is to take a step ahead out of the comfort zone. To know the limitations of life, to challenge ourselves and take failure as our teacher. To be on a continuous fight to make the best out of life and break the limitations gifted by ‘comfort zones’.

With time, each and every experience in my life has enabled me to give up the set comfort zone, designed in my mind that I thought existed when I was younger. As I grew, I learned to build the best out of the worst of situations and times.

When carrying the baggage begins a burden and we are caught up in a tight spot unable to come out of that space, we must take a step and move out of that specific zone.

Yesterday was another day. Today is another. In such situations, it becomes vital to realize and reset our priorities. Every time I fail, I keep telling myself: This is the worst and the best I have to myself, and I have to live through it. All that is going wrong – it will pass. There is some unseen door which will open at the most unexpected moment. Not only for myself, but for all of us. 

Each time the comfort zones try to scare me, I tell myself, have faith and embrace the unknown. In situations like this I repeatedly ask myself what is important. The finances, yes. More than that, it is my identity and integrity. My mental peace.The moment our fears know that we are stronger than them, they would not try to mess up with us. Dark situations are naked realities we have to learn from.



With multiple issues and responsibilities, it boggles me down at times, like anyone else I am sure. There are days when I find a blank canvas in front of me with no hope. But good grief! It’s blank. I can draw a random stroke across the canvas anytime.

That time is NOW. That space is Hope! That is where freedom lies, to explore and start from zero again. A voice from within tells me, with every comfort zone I decode – I grow one step closer in becoming a stronger human. This applies for all of us, to move with the flow, with what we have. With what makes us. With what we are. And in the process find ourselves.

Create your comfort zone in moments of ‘dis-comfort’, defined by you. Be prepared to face the uncertainties of life, and as you confront each one of those moments, learn to embrace them. To clearly identify the discomforts and accept and overcome them, like the peeling of the dead skin, let go of the set comforts we are used to.

We should take the journey through our ‘un-comfortable zone‘, to prepare us for the hard knocks in life. Taking risks prepare us to face the unprecedented situations in our life. They help us know move out of the ‘comfort zone’ and explore the potential we have.

During the fall, we all need to continue our fight and never ever give up. After a certain period of time, we all realize, that the darkness, failures, the deep painful wounds of life give us the push to go on. There is some light inside the deepest darkest rooms of life.

 That is what we all need to start trying, try to float. Yes, you just have to make it possible to take that one step forward. To just keep going on, for not being ashamed of yourself for anything, not drowning with how people judge us and go on with the flow.

The protected, safe and nurtured zone is a blessing indeed. However, the moment the bubble bursts – we curse life and blame situations or our surroundings. Comfort zones limits us to fears because of the little that we are allowed to know. Nothing can be taken for granted, nothing can be shielded by an unbreakable mold forever. Things will fall apart, things will happen in unpredictable ways, and that will teach us that ‘comfort zones’ are a myth.

 Being honest to ourselves help us go a long way. Practicing self-honesty gives us a better place to confront what is truly bothering you and increase your chance of moving forward.

To move out of the routine, to explore the unknown, to stand on the verge of an edge – We need to do it all to test ourselves. To take the test and to pass through them. Even if we fail, to learn to rise from them and that’s exactly how we learn that the comfort of ‘comfort zones’ are nothing but a myth.

 Comfort zones teach us that the dark is full of evil happenings. Trust me it doesn’t. Explore life, talk to strangers, and take a walk down the untrodden path. Stumble. Fall. Be open to try new things in life. Even if that doesn’t work out for you, know that you will learn something from it. To move ahead and try again. 

Rise Above The Shame

Over time, most of the time many people have made me feel that I should be ashamed of my story. The dark part. The bad part. They made me feel and told me that the least I should ever even dare to try to do is speak about the dark sides of my life. They tried to convince me that I will be shunned upon, hated, looked down upon, outcasted from the society. Many times my parent were told that I was way too liberal and restless in nature.

Little did I realize at that tender age, that the activities my parents and teachers got me involved into would make me - UNASHAMED.

What I learnt from my father and mother, some of my teachers and rock-solid friends, taught me in silent words to rise above the adversities and not be ashamed of them.

Yes, I am not ashamed of my story. Because my story is good, bad and ugly. Because I learnt with time that if I can love the good part of the story of my life and that of others, why can I not channelize the bad moments, situations and turn them to driving strengths?

I am not ashamed of my story because it taught me to accept myself, the obstacles in life, face them, collapse and rise up again. All in a cycle called life. Today, I rise above the social stigmas and encourage people not to be ashamed of their story. 

I sit with myself and others to have a tête-à-tête often. What I was deprived of in my childhood and what I was blessed with from my early years makes me who I am today. I have more to learn and grow, till my last drop.

My story - which people thought I should be ashamed of comprised of sexual abuse as a child. I could not speak about to it for years because I did not know it was something to be spoken about. Four decades back there was more of hush hush to talk of such issues and hide it under the table. The stigma still exists. Break the wall!

My story witnessed a disturbance in the marital life of my parents for years due to the influence of other relatives, how they overcame those attempts made by people trying to break the marriage, ruin their life and that of mine - how they fought it together, planting seeds of unbreakable faith and strength in myself for always. Patience and perseverance pays.

The dark side of my story which others decided I should be ashamed of - I am not ashamed of, even today. The dark side of my story only made me stronger, bold, cut throat, a stubborn motivator.

The irony, the society I live in told me in more ways than one that I should be ashamed of myself because I am bold, I am fearless. As a girl, I shouldn’t be so. Hell! No, I am not ashamed to be so.

A marriage out of love became estranged with time. An abortion and two miscarriages. I did not become a biological mother later. 

I was told not to talk about it as not being able to give birth to a child is considered something to be ashamed of in our society. No, I am not ashamed to be labelled as 'infertile'. I am not ashamed of my story. 

Losing my father - my idol; my mother - my bestie to an accident, there I was, broken, shattered, tattered and torn. Turned alcoholic, became an active smoker. I came out from there with strength. No, I am not ashamed to say it all.

A sexual abuse at workplace – in the hospitality industry - which almost attempted to ruin my life, my estranged husband stood by me and fought for me. No, I am not ashamed just because things did not work out perfectly between us. He stood by me and told me, “Do not be ashamed of your story.”

Therein came multiple nervous breakdowns, lying in a comatose state when a miracle called the love of life happened to me. When I was back from the hospital, some people started saying I have gone insane and stayed away from me. I Thank God they are not anywhere around me today.

Some people wearing the mask of well-wishers, wanted to sleep with me. Many suggested my life will turn around if I take personal and professional favours underneath the tables. No I am not ashamed for not giving in to their whims and fancies.

Penniless, broken, I was crawling inside my room. The darkness taught me a lot. My friends stood unconditionally by me. Because I call a spade a spade, does not imply I am not soft. My heart goes out for my friends and even strangers who have faced worse situations in life. It’s all a part of the struggle, a part of the fight, till the last breath.

A woman, whom I trusted to be my friend, stabbed me. A man in the disguise of a well-wisher till date attempts to ruin the social and private life that of myself and the best of my friends because I refused to sleep with him. I gathered my ashes up and am taking legal help. I do not know if Justice prevails in my country, but I will at least be able to look eye to eye with myself, telling, “Yes, I tried.” No, I am not ashamed of my story.

Confused relationships, broken heart, love finding its way maybe to be lost again – I am not ashamed of my story. At every turn I rise from my ashes, I crumble, I cry, I fall, I laugh, I writhe in pain, I have fun times with friends, family and my dogs. I write, I continue working professionally.

I am on a constant drive to empower humans - either through my writing, or through speaking on public forums, raising awareness and motivating myself and others to rise up and say – NO! I AM NOT ASHAMED OF MY STORY. DARE ME IF YOU CAN. PERIOD.

#beproudofyourstory #empoweredwoman #strenghtofwomen